Your browser is out of date. Some of the content on this site will not work properly as a result.
Upgrade your browser for a faster, better, and safer web experience.

Christmas gift subscriptions to DG start from just £36 and make the perfect present

Infographic: Mixed e-motions

Once a year we take a dive into the British government’s online petitions portal, where concerned citizens can put forward policy proposals. Here are the nine best rejected legislative suggestions we came across, as published in DG #24.

01

Allow food in Beckfoot sixth form common room
“We want to eat in the common room. Viva la revolution.”

02

Common sense should be a legal requirement
“Teaching people not to drop litter. Good manners. Not ringing 999 for non emergencies. Putting claims in for stupid things.”

03

Jousting to be included in the Olympics
“Golf is in the Olympics! Why?! Get it replaced with jousting.”

04

Increase the standard size bottle of wine from 750ml to 1,000ml (1 litre)
“Very often that ‘extra glass’ is needed and instead of it being in that bottle you have to open a second.”

05

Remove Boris Johnson as foreign secretary due to the resulting global ridicule
“A certain level of gravitas is needed. The genial clown is not right for this particular job.”

06

Please can we invite Barack Obama to lead our country?
“Barack is a statesmanly [sic] leader with the balance and diplomamacy [sic] that the UK needs. Let’s hope he’s interested.”

07

Ban all Christmas-related advertising until at least
25th November
“I have seen an Ocado ad to buy your Xmas Turkey and Sainsburys selling Xmas Puds, all before the 20th of September! Implement a law against this and bring the fun back into Xmas.”

08

Force Sainsbury’s to bring back the full selection of sandwiches in the meal deal
“It is an absolute abomination that Sainsbury’s think that they can get away with changing the infamous £3 meal deal. They have taken away our liberty to buy quality filled sandwiches.”

09

Theresa May must hand back her Vivienne Westwood frocks
“Theresa May should hand back all clothing designed by Vivienne Westwood until such time that the government changes its views on fracking.”

A slower, more reflective type of journalism”
Creative Review

Jam-packed with information... a counterpoint to the speedy news feeds we've grown accustomed to”
Creative Review

A leisurely (and contrary) look backwards over the previous three months”
The Telegraph

Quality, intelligence and inspiration: the trilogy that drives the makers of Delayed Gratification”
El Mundo

Refreshing... parries the rush of 24-hour news with 'slow journalism'”
The Telegraph

A very cool magazine... It's like if Greenland Sharks made a newspaper”
Qi podcast

The UK's second-best magazine” Ian Hislop
Editor, Private Eye
Private Eye Magazine

Perhaps we could all get used to this Delayed idea...”
BBC Radio 4 - Today Programme