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Infographic: Rejected e-petitions

Last July, the UK government relaunched its e-petitions portal. Alongside a host of earnest legislative suggestions were some others which were rejected immediately. These are our favourites from the quarter.

Epet1

Standardise the word for bread roll across the UK and EU to the word ‘cob’
“Barm, baps, breadcake etc… all are in wide use around the UK. This is confusing and quite obviously wrong. It is a COB. This should be enshrined in law.”

Epet2

Regulate Creme Egg Easter egg filling to be sweet yolk instead of smaller eggs
“It is deceptive in nature – especially to the untrained eye – with how a Creme Egg logo is plastered across a box housing a supposed egg which is not filled with creme.”

Epet3

Stop engineering our weather and falsely medicating the public without consent
“Say no to chemical engineer our weather” (Response: “The UK Government and Parliament are not responsible for the weather.”)

Epet4

Get my mate un-barred from the Golden Hind pub
“My friend Andrew Chapman was wrongfully barred from the Golden Hind. This is an outrage and must be sorted ASAP”

Epet5

Bring back turkey twizzlers
“Turkey twizzlers were banned by Jamie Oliver for being unhealthy. Alcohol is unhealthy but allowed in moderation. Why not our beloved twizzlers of turkey! Jamie Oliver – you’re an egg.”

Epet6

Give honorary British citizenship to Jesus Christ
“This is in order to recognise the great contribution of Jesus Christ and Christianity in shaping the United Kingdom.”

Epet7

Change the plural of sheep from sheep to sheeps
“If the letter ‘s’ is good enough for other words it’s good enough for sheeps. Plus it sounds cute.”

Epet8

Ban Go Compare from using that song and that man for their advertising!
“We want it to stop before it pushes somebody over the edge.”

Epet9

Close down the online petition system
“The current online petition system is a farce”

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