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How to cash in on a Walk of Fame

Our first book, ‘How to be evil’, features the collected cartoon works of Evil Stick Man, a Machiavellian doodle whose get-rich-quick schemes have featured in Delayed Gratification since the very first issue.

Here’s Evil Stick Man on how to cash in on our obsession with celebrity. For more of his nefarious how-to guides, order a copy of ‘How to be evil’ from the DG shop.

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Approach the local council in a run-down but central area of a major city, ideally in an important market for the entertainment industry.

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Posing as a concerned citizen, offer to take over the maintenance of a major street for a third of the current cost, but insist on a long-term deal.

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Announce that you will be launching the city’s version of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame on the street.

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Invite celebrity A to be honoured with a star. Charge only a minimal fee for upkeep but insist that celebrity A must attend the unveiling.

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Unveil the new star with a grand ceremony, timed to coincide with the celebrity’s latest product release. Invite the press, giving the celebrity maximum exposure.

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Repeat steps 4-5 with other major and minor celebrities. Watch your street become a tourist attraction.

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Contact celebrity A’s agent to tell them you need to increase the maintenance fee significantly. If the agent refuses to pay, have their client’s star publicly removed and destroyed with journalists present.

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Continue to collect vastly inflated fees from agents worried about bad publicity. Occasionally pay a street cleaner to sweep up.

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Use your money to pay for a shot for shot remake of ‘The Sound Of Music’, with you playing every role. Watch it in your own private cinema every bank holiday.

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