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How to become an IT millionaire

Since the launch of Delayed Gratification in January 2011, a Machiavellian doodle known as Evil Stick Man has shared his devious get-rich-quick schemes with readers each issue. Here’s his plot to become an IT millionaire without doing actual work.

We’ve pulled together Evil Stick Man’s adventures in our first ever book, How to be evil. You can buy it for £10 including shipping in our online shop.

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Place an advert on a jobs website, advertising for high level IT staff and asking applicants to send in CVs.

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Pick the most impressive CV, switch the applicant’s personal data for your own, and change the company names cited for your own, made-up names (include the word ‘Solutions’ as much as possible). Leave in all the job title and experience information.

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Sign up to a reference provider like Career Excuse (careerexcuse.com), who for a small monthly fee will create websites and phone numbers for your made-up companies and provide fabricated references from them as well as fielding calls from potential employers.

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Apply for high level IT jobs until you secure one on the basis of your CV and references.

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Set up a proxy server at your home address.

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Hire an IT graduate in a developing nation to do job for you, using your login codes, and working through the proxy server so as not to raise any alarm over foreign IP addresses. Pay them a third of your salary.

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Watch cat videos.

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Apply for several other jobs. Repeat steps 4-7. Invest heavily in bitcoins.

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You are now rich. Pay Michael Flatley to come round to your house and teach you the Riverdance.

A slower, more reflective type of journalism”
Creative Review

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Creative Review

A leisurely (and contrary) look backwards over the previous three months”
The Telegraph

Quality, intelligence and inspiration: the trilogy that drives the makers of Delayed Gratification”
El Mundo

Refreshing... parries the rush of 24-hour news with 'slow journalism'”
The Telegraph

A very cool magazine... It's like if Greenland Sharks made a newspaper”
Qi podcast

The UK's second-best magazine” Ian Hislop
Editor, Private Eye
Private Eye Magazine

Perhaps we could all get used to this Delayed idea...”
BBC Radio 4 - Today Programme