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How to cash in on AI

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Identify a little known, unglamorous and unsuccessful publicly-listed company whose stock has fallen to rock bottom levels.

Buy a controlling interest in the company just before the end of its tax year.

Sack the company’s board of directors and all staff apart from the public relations and marketing team. Sell all of its assets.

Rename the company to something dynamic-sounding but vague that includes the letters ‘AI’.

Post a massive year-on-year increase in turnover and profitability thanks to having sold everything and sacked everyone.

Get your marketing team to publicise this amazing business turnaround, suggesting it is down to the new name and that the company now has a bright future.

‘Hot money’ will pour into the company from investors presuming the turnaround is due to the firm having interests in AI and looking to turn a quick profit.

Registering that its stock is rising and presuming that it is an AI company, investment algorithms will direct large amounts of hedge fund money into your company.

Sell your shares before anyone realises you don’t know anything about AI. You are now rich. Bribe ITV to let you be the new co-host of This Morning. Don’t turn up.

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