Going through the motions
‘Make the position of Queen rotate weekly among women over 80’
‘Each would spend a week living in palaces, hosting events and making addresses. Their families would become the temporary royal family.’
‘Make Sweet Caroline the English national anthem’
‘It’s an absolute banger and loved by all. Give the people what they want. It will be so good, so good, so good.’
‘Put chlorine in rivers around the UK’
‘Because in summer a lot of people go swimming in dirty rivers and I believe the government should look into this so people can enjoy their summer in a safe way.’
‘Make it a criminal offence to run over a hamster’
‘I want it to be illegal so hamsters don’t die in the road please.’
‘Ban fluffy coats’
‘Ban the fluffy coats. I don’t like them.’
‘Make Hull the official second capital of the UK’
‘Make Hull the capital as no other city is a more attractive place.’
‘Take the “share” off share bags’
‘I think we should remove the incentive to share crisps and sweets off the bags. We all know they’re not for sharing.’
‘Name the next UK storm Gerald’
‘Have [a] quality name for storms. Because we are British and love a bit of banter.’
‘Ban eating pigs in blankets from any day of the year apart from Christmas Day’
‘They don’t taste the same if it’s not on Christmas.’
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